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Three in a bed may seem like one of the top sex fantasies, but does the reality match up? As a hook-up app puts threesomes on our dating menu, one couple - and their third - kiss and tell (everything).

With new hook-up app 3nder already reaching over half a million users, adding a third to your bed has gone from being a barely whispered fantasy to a one-swipe-away reality. But make no mistake: while ordering up a threesome may seem as easy as ordering a Friday-night takeaway, it comes with far more intense complications than a 45-minute wait time. Here, a real couple explain what happened when they added a third person to the mix. There's laughter. Yup, there are orgasms. But how they felt afterwards was a surprise to them all.

Kelly, 32, a communications director, and Andrew, 27, a barrister. They met on Tinder and have been dating for six months.

Michelle, 25, a fashion assistant and former friend-with-benefits of Andrew's.

The planning

KELLY: Andrew and I were lying in bed, naked, when the idea came up. We've been doing more and more role-play recently - like meeting in the lift of Andrew's flat and pretending to be sexy strangers - and we were talking about the fantasies left on my sexual to-do list. A threesome is something I've been curious about for ages. My friends are all settling down, which has only made me feel more wild. I knew Andrew would be game, so this felt like the time to stop thinking about it and actually tick it off.

ANDREW: My first thought was, 'This is going to be complicated.' It's one thing to think of creative ways to be naughty, but when it involves a third person, suddenly there's planning involved. But then I remembered Michelle.

MICHELLE: Andrew and I met at a party years ago. There's no romantic spark between us, but we are both adventurous, open, and intense - so we always seem to end up together if we're in the same place and not seeing anyone else.

ANDREW: The idea of having sex with a stranger scared me. Michelle is very open about her sexuality; I knew she would consider the offer and wouldn't be insulted if I asked.

MICHELLE: His text made me laugh. I love that our friendship is so direct like that. And I was direct back: I asked for a photo. When I saw Kelly, my first thought was, 'Well done, Andrew!' My second was wondering what her breasts would feel like. I couldn't help noticing they were bigger than mine.

Getting ready

KELLY: I kept changing my outfit. My heart was hammering so hard in my chest. Andrew was watching TV, wearing the same jeans, T-shirt and trainers he'd had on all day. I'd gone out and bought lingerie - a black and red sheer lace bodysuit - but I ended up just wearing an old black lacy bra and knickers. I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard.

ANDREW: Kelly was so nervous. I pulled her in for a hug at one point and told her we didn't have to do it. But she wanted to. And she looked amazing in everything.

MICHELLE: I had a glass of wine with my flatmate before I went out. She thought I was just meeting up with Andrew. I kept imagining what she would think if she really knew. I wore a black dress, no knickers. I felt super sexy and confident, like I was playing the part of a seductress.

At the bar

MICHELLE: I was annoyed to arrive first. I was sitting, playing with my phone, surrounded by couples on a 'normal' Friday night out. I began to second-guess myself; here I was, all dressed up, and where were they? I started to worry they'd changed their minds.

ANDREW: I was worried about Kelly as we headed to meet Michelle. Her face was flushed and she kept talking really fast.

KELLY: I wanted to do it. I just had a lot going through my head. Mainly, I was nervous Michelle wouldn't be attracted to me. My knees were shaking so much that Andrew had to help me walk into the bar.

MICHELLE: I saw them before they saw me. She was leaning into him; she seemed much more shy than her photos made her look.

ANDREW: The bar was packed and the barman was taking forever getting our drinks.

MICHELLE: I made Andrew pay for my wine. That broke the ice a bit; it allowed us all to have a laugh about who was in charge of what and the strangeness of the situation.

KELLY: Michelle was lovely. She and I traded compliments, and it turns out we both go to the same gym.

ANDREW: It was such a relief to come back to our table and see the girls getting on so well. This was the first time I genuinely felt excited, like, alright, we're going to pull this off.

Back at Andrew's flat

MICHELLE: Andrew usually drinks a fair amount, so it was interesting he stopped after two pints.

ANDREW: I wanted to make sure I wasn't drunk. Since I was the only one who knew both parties well, I felt like it was my job to ensure everyone was having a good time.

KELLY: Michelle's thigh was touching mine on the cab ride. I could smell her perfume and kept thinking about what would happen next. I'd kissed a few women at uni for dares, but never gone further than that. I hoped Michelle would take the lead.

ANDREW: It was interesting watching how the two women interacted. Kelly is usually forceful, so it was such a change to see her playing coy. Meanwhile, Michelle is always very sensual and I could tell she was focusing all her energy on Kelly. Michelle kept touching Kelly's hair and bare skin, so I was surprised when the door closed behind us and she turned to me and undid my trousers.

MICHELLE: I felt like someone had to get the ball rolling. I thought making a move on Andrew would propel Kelly to act. It worked. While I was kissing Andrew, Kelly began running her hands through my hair.

KELLY: I had no idea what I was doing. Michelle pulled me towards her, and we began kissing. It was so soft. I couldn't get enough of the scent of her perfume. It felt so surreal. At one point, I glanced over at Andrew and he was watching us with a big grin on his face. That turned me on.

Three in a bed

MICHELLE: Kelly was so into kissing, which I loved. I consider myself bisexual, but I've been with women who are doing it more for the experience than anything, and it's a bit off-putting. But I really felt like Kelly and I had the same amount of desire for each other.

KELLY: Michelle and I moved to the bed together - she was touching me. And then Andrew started getting involved.

ANDREW: I didn't know where to begin. Once you have three people in bed, there are so many more options; it's not just Tab A into Slot B. I wanted to touch them both, and I also wanted to watch them both. At some points, I felt I was just getting in the way.

KELLY: I pushed Michelle off me. I was enjoying it, but I needed some time to catch my breath. That's when Andrew began having sex with Michelle. He was on top of her, and I began kissing him and touching Michelle's breasts. That was the moment when I realised, whoa, I'm having a threesome.

ANDREW: Oh my God. It was incredible, because everyone was so into it.

MICHELLE: Andrew pulled out of me, and was about to have sex with Kelly when I realised he was wearing the same condom. No way.

KELLY: The condom thing sort of ruined the moment. I was so glad that Michelle mentioned it, but it was also like, ugh, that isn't the way it happens in porn. It was a reminder that this was a big deal.

MICHELLE: I liked the feeling of matching my moans to Kelly, but once she and Andrew began having sex, I started feeling funny about everything. It was something about the way they had sex: Andrew looked into Kelly's eyes immediately and was more gentle than he'd been with me. I don't want to say I felt used, but I did feel like I was done for the night. I touched myself to orgasm, but I did that because I didn't want to seem like I was killing the mood.

ANDREW: I orgasmed right after I heard Michelle orgasm. I don't think Kelly did.

KELLY: I didn't. My brain was trying to record everything, it made it hard to feel in the moment.

MICHELLE: I thought about going back to Kelly and trying to make her orgasm, but I didn't. I felt like we'd ticked all the boxes and the threesome was over. I was glad when Andrew rolled out of bed and got a bottle of wine.

Afterwards

ANDREW: It was a bit anticlimactic. Kelly immediately pulled her bra back on, like a sign she was done for the night.

KELLY: At one point, the three of us were all in bed and I wondered what the etiquette was: would we all fall asleep together? All night? But then Michelle got up and told us she was leaving.

ANDREW: I walked Michelle outside and she kept saying that this was what the "guest star" was supposed to do: leave. It was jokey, but here was where it felt really complicated. It was obvious Michelle felt off. But Kelly seemed relieved when Michelle suggested booking an Uber. It definitely felt tense once the sex was over.

MICHELLE: I thought Kelly was great, and Andrew did everything right. I guess I just felt a bit lonely. When they started having sex, I realised this was their fantasy, their relationship. And I was like, well, what did I get out of this, really?

One week later

MICHELLE: I don't regret it, but it made me realise that even though I act like I'm sexually adventurous, I would rather be sexually adventurous with a partner. It was hard seeing them cuddling while I got a taxi.

ANDREW: I thought I wouldn't want a threesome with a stranger, but I do wonder if it might have been easier. I felt like Michelle was disappointed. I don't think Kelly and I will plan another, but if one happens to come our way, I wouldn't say no.

KELLY: The hottest part wasn't the actual threesome (too much thinking; too many bodies), but the lead-up was incredible. Feeling like I had permission to follow my fantasies was amazing.

ANDREW: Weirdly, I think it deepened my and Kelly's commitment. We've talked about it since, helping clarify where we stand on monogamy.

"The more you think it through and discuss it before the act, the more likely everyone will have a good time," says Emily Morse, sex expert and host of podcast Sex With Emily. Here are four questions she wants you to ask:

• Why do I want this? You should only have a threesome if it's something that genuinely excites you. You may find you like imagining a threesome, but clam up when it comes to planning one.

• How will we communicate if one of us is done? In the moment, it can be hard to suss out feelings. Having a code word or phrase that ends the action ensures no misunderstandings.

• What's your sexual health history? Making sure everyone is safe (and protection is used) is a must.

• What are you most looking forward to/nervous about? Talking through what you like - and what you don't - before clothes come off ensures that everyone is on the same page.

@annakdavies

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